♕ |[16]| If thou be'st born to strange sights,

[had_not_lived]

It's been a while since I wrote anything here, probably because I was kidnapped by pirates and they cut off my little finger to keep me from typing up a 'help' message. It's not so bad. You get used to it after a while. I mean, I'm used to feeling a little underequipped because I only have two arms and two legs, but I was raised by tarantulas, so my brothers and sisters always got around a lot better than I did.

One thing you don't get to do, being raised by tarantulas, is travel a lot... And in that department pirates definitely know how to do things. I think if they'd explained the situation to me-- that in exchange for my swabbing the deck and cooking and doing other chores, they'd take me around to see the whole world-- I probably would have gone along with them willingly. Really, there was no reason to raze the town and put Mr. Nolan in irons.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well, in spite of things. It looks like some people are cursed, which really isn't surprising. I'm glad when I found the fountain of youth, that it took away my ability to be cursed, that's really made life a lot easier since. Take that, Ponce de León.



[EDIT; tarantulas. srsly.]

Comments

[had_not_lived]

It was pretty exciting! Though if you're not careful you end up getting scurvy, which is definitely not a pleasant way to go.

[adamantined]

But how were you raised by tarantulas?

[had_not_lived]

Fairly well, I think. Just because they're spiders doesn't mean they can't be good parents, too.


[ooc; sob.]

[adamantined]

But aren't they a little small?

[ooc: HAHAHAAHAKSDFJlaskjdflaksj;fffffffffffffffff]

[had_not_lived]

They have very big hearts, though. Figuratively, I mean. Not... proportionately.

[adamantined]

I'm surprised you didn't squish any.

[had_not_lived]

You learn to be very careful, especially around the babies.

[adamantined]

But how did you get kidnapped by pirates?

[had_not_lived]

I was sleeping, so they caught me by surprise. I didn't have a chance to fight back. I'm not sure what happened to Todd, they said something about sending him to Saturn I think. I haven't had a chance to ask him how it went.

[adamantined]

I'm guessing it went very cold.

[had_not_lived]

Probably. Though I think he'd make a great astronaut.

[adamantined]

Wait, let me back up a second. So these were space pirates, right?

[had_not_lived]

No, I think they were Portuguese.

[adamantined]

Are you on drugs?

[had_not_lived]

Not this week.

[adamantined]

...What?

[had_not_lived]

Oh, well we got a pretty large opium shipment off a Chinese crew a while back.

1/1

[adamantined]

[had_not_lived]

I know, I know, it's bad for you. But, when in Rome, as they say.

[adamantined]

Do drugs?

[had_not_lived]

If that's what the Romans are doing.

[adamantined]

The Romans are a little behind the times, all things considered.

[had_not_lived]

It's just an expression, Claire.

[adamantined]

You said you were doing drugs!

[had_not_lived]

Well, they would've been insulted if I hadn't joined them.