♕ |[16]| If thou be'st born to strange sights,

[had_not_lived]

It's been a while since I wrote anything here, probably because I was kidnapped by pirates and they cut off my little finger to keep me from typing up a 'help' message. It's not so bad. You get used to it after a while. I mean, I'm used to feeling a little underequipped because I only have two arms and two legs, but I was raised by tarantulas, so my brothers and sisters always got around a lot better than I did.

One thing you don't get to do, being raised by tarantulas, is travel a lot... And in that department pirates definitely know how to do things. I think if they'd explained the situation to me-- that in exchange for my swabbing the deck and cooking and doing other chores, they'd take me around to see the whole world-- I probably would have gone along with them willingly. Really, there was no reason to raze the town and put Mr. Nolan in irons.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well, in spite of things. It looks like some people are cursed, which really isn't surprising. I'm glad when I found the fountain of youth, that it took away my ability to be cursed, that's really made life a lot easier since. Take that, Ponce de León.



[EDIT; tarantulas. srsly.]

Comments

ffffffffff I <3 this post

[moresake.livejournal.com]

...Have you acquired a bad habit, Neil?

[had_not_lived]

Have I? I'm not sure what you mean.

[moresake.livejournal.com]

I suppose it is the fault of the curse.

[had_not_lived]

Oh, I'm immune to curses. Comes from the fountain, you know.

[girlwithabow.livejournal.com]

It must be storytime because while I could believe the pirate part if I was drunk and half-asleep, the tarantula part killed it.

blame RSL for the tarantula thing!

[had_not_lived]

Just because you've never met my tarantula parents, doesn't mean they don't exist.

what does he have to do with tarantulas?

[girlwithabow.livejournal.com]

Just because I've never met your tarantula parents doesn't mean you're not lying.

ahaha oh god...

[had_not_lived]

Why would I lie about something like that?

[ooc; TARANTULAS!]

1/2

[adamantined]

[adamantined]

What?

[had_not_lived]

It was pretty exciting! Though if you're not careful you end up getting scurvy, which is definitely not a pleasant way to go.

[adamantined]

But how were you raised by tarantulas?

[Voice;] I lol'd, I admit

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

And every bomb I ever dropped,
Those shiny new Kalashnikovs
that somehow wind up in the jungle,
Ever snakey little angle
That I milk,
The treaties broke,
The species killed,
Every time I pass the buck
When I couldn't give a flying--

[Voice;] Then I have succeeded~!

[had_not_lived]

I wrote that song, you know.

[Voice;]

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Did you indeed?

The treaties broke,
The species killed,
Every time I pass the buck
When I couldn't give a flying--

Jesus might want me for a sunbeam.
Jesus might want me for His dream team.
He might not want me at all.

[Voice;]

[had_not_lived]

Sure. Though I never recorded it. I can't play the piano anymore, on account of my finger.

[thentothesky.livejournal.com]

But what about scorpions?

[had_not_lived]

I think Cameron might've been raised by scorpions, but I can't be sure.

[thentothesky.livejournal.com]

It makes one wonder which is superior, doesn't it? As tarantulas have very many legs indeed, but scorpions do have that pesky stinger.

[had_not_lived]

My opinion's probably biased.

[whatyoubring.livejournal.com]

Neil?

[had_not_lived]

Anne? Is that you?

[whatyoubring.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is. Are you working on a novel?

[reginagloriae]

I thought your dad was only a controlling jerk, not a spider.

[ellectroshock.livejournal.com]

Tarantulas get to go to Africa, don't they?