had_not_lived | ♕ |[40]|

Coming up on the Square, Neil looks positively in love with life. He feels a little guilty, being in such high spirits when Rosella's still reeling from the loss of her closest friend; but maybe he can do some good, cheer her up a bit. It's not unusual for him to be alive-- it would be his week even if they'd kept to the old deal. But though each moment is not so dearly bought it's no less valuable; only all the more joyous as it comes with no equal suffering for his friend. So, he's smiling at nothing in particular as he looks around to see whether Rosella's beaten him here.

As it turns out, Rosella has only beaten Neil by a minute or so; she's still lingering outside the doors of the cafe when he arrives, in the midst of debating whether or not to go order something inside to tide her over while she waits. His arrival, therefore, answers that question immediately, and she raises her hand in a slight wave when she notices him walking up.

Anyone even the slightest bit familiar with Rosella under normal circumstances would be able to tell that she's still out of sorts; her smile still doesn't quite meet her eyes, and her face is starting to show the signs that she hasn't been sleeping well lately. But she's out, and she does brighten a little at the sight of Neil, smiling a little wider as she comes down the cafe steps to greet him.

"Hello, Neil," she says, as cheerfully as she can manage. "How are you today?"

"Good," he answers, though it's pretty easy to see that's an understatement. He's trying not to be too overbearing, but it's tough to suppress. He moves in to give her a tight hug, in part because he can't quite contain his mood, in part because she needs it.

"I didn't keep you waiting long, did I?"

His enthusiasm is both apparent and infectious, so Rosella can't help a little laugh as she hugs him back, leaning a little more on him and holding on a little longer than she normally might. Neil at his happiest is a force to be reckoned with, and while she's not entirely sure what has brought on such a good mood, she is pleased to see him so happy, for whatever reason it might be.

"Oh, no, not at all. I just arrived a minute ago, really," she answers as she pulls back, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "And was just thinking of getting something from the cafe to take on our walk, actually. Would you like anything, yourself? I'll treat."

He damn well intends to be infectious in his mirth; and so he doesn't mind in the least mind embracing her a little longer. Rosella needs cheering up; he can only imagine what he'd be like if Todd left.

"Iced tea, maybe? Too hot for anything warm," he answers with a little laugh.

"It is, rather. Well, all right, I'll be back in just a moment, then," she says, glancing through the glass and noting that there's currently a lull at the counter. She heads inside and comes back out a few minutes later with two carry-out mugs, one of which she offers to Neil upon her return.

"There, now we're both set," she finishes with a note of satisfaction, taking a sip of her own drink. "Shall we?"

"Certainly," he replies, offering her the arm not holding a beverage. The weather's about as close to perfect as anyone could want, and even if he wasn't caught up in his own joys it would be difficult not to have it lift his spirits.

"I didn't have any particular place in mind, I thought we'd just go and see where we end up."

Smiling faintly, she links her free arm through his, and for the first time notes its warmth. Though several of her friends are among the dead in the City, she often forgets until she comes into contact with them. It must be Neil's week to be alive, she decides, and wonders how strange it must feel, switching back and forth between alive and dead so often.

Still, there's no use in dwelling on those thoughts--particularly considering that she knows pondering such matters will almost certainly lead to thoughts of Sam, and she's trying hard to keep her mind on other things as much as possible. So she nods a little at Neil, giving his arm a squeeze, and follows along at his side when he begins to walk.

"That sounds nice," she agrees, giving him a quick glance before lowering her gaze to the ground ahead once again. "It's a fine day out for it, certainly. And it seems you're in a good mood to match, I should think?"

"I am," he confesses, a wry note in his grin. Honestly he's trying not to rub it in. He'd like to share his joy, to explain his mood and the reasons for it but figuring out where to start-- and gauging whether it would cheer Rosella or just lead her back around to thoughts of lost friendship-- is easier said than done, so for the moment he doesn't jump into it.

"How are you?" he asks, tone innocuous but a little concern evident in the gaze he shoots her.

"Well, I'm glad for that," she replies gently, and means every word of it. Being in a bad mood is an exhausting undertaking, and while she's not anticipating that she'll be back to her usual self for the foreseeable future, it's always easier to be cheerful when her friends are happy, too. One friend can never replace another, of course, but by the same token, losing one doesn't mean all the others have gone, or that she can't still enjoy the company of the ones that remain.

"I'm..." she begins, hesitating a moment as she tries to decide how best to answer. "I'm doing all right, I suppose. I'm trying not to slip into bad habits, but it's a bit easier said than done, at times."

He smiles at her, gentle, and leans in a little; not enough to crowd her or even bump against her shoulder, just a slight, reassuring gesture to remind her that she isn't alone in this. He might not have been close with Sam himself, but Neil feels the loss for her sake.

"Well, I think that's normal... I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, though."

She gives his arm a light squeeze in return, in recognition and appreciation of the comfort he's extending. "I am. I'll just have to keep a closer eye on myself, that's all."

But the point of the walk is hardly to dwell on matters like that, and the last thing she wants is to bring down Neil's good mood by giving him cause to worry about her, so she'll try to bring things back to a lighter note. "Why, I even cleaned my room for once, can you imagine? It's really quite remarkable, being able to see the floor again."

He laughs a bit at that. "But you didn't throw anything out, did you?" Rosella's packrat habits are a bit incomprehensible to him, but endearing; Neil doesn't aspire to own much more than books, and even those he's less prone to buying now that he has the store to peruse on a daily basis. Except, you know, for the books he ends up not wanting to sell to anyone else because he likes them too much. The books he's had to buy yet another bookshelf for.

On second thought, maybe he understands after all.

"Goodness, no!" Rosella answers, a little too quickly. It's one thing to reorganize her whole room and find places for everything, but to get rid of it all entirely is quite another. Old habits die hard, after all, and she's still not convinced that she won't someday need a nail or spring or old bit of leather on short notice. But at least this way, it meets the traditional definition of organized, rather than simply her own variety of knowing where everything is despite the mess. "Er...no, it's all mostly just reorganized. So it's easier to walk around and find things, that's all."

"Well, still, it's good. Makes it easier to find things." Grinning, he takes a sip of his tea, trying to decide how bes to change the topic. Whether it's the best idea to do it in the first place.

Well, why not.

"So... about the book thing."

"Oh, yes. The book thing. Well, with my room all sorted out, there won't be any trouble at all if you'd like to have a look at my shelves," she replies, offering him a faint smile. "They're mostly collections of fairy tales, I'm afraid, but I have a few other good ones, too."

"Well, thank you. Though I meant..." He takes a breath, looks away a moment-- a wide roll of his eyes screwing up his courage to explain things. Not that there's anything to be embarrassed about, but still, there's something private to these matters by nature.

"I thought I'd explain maybe." Because she deserves to know. "I can't read poetry right now. Not all. Whether or not I want to."

She blinks, looking a little surprised, and her pace slows accordingly as she glances over at him with curiosity in her gaze. "You can't read poetry?" she repeats, frowning a little. "But what could be keeping you from--"

But then she falls silent as it all starts to click into place; whether he wants to or not implies that he's been cut off from it somehow, and given Neil's deep love for poetry...

"...You traded with the deities for something?" she guesses softly.

"For a couple'f weeks. It doesn't sound like much but knowing I can't makes me want to more than I would have normally," he says softly, with a little laugh, managing to meet her eyes with some difficulty. He knows this sort of thing worries her.

"It's all right. Really. It was-- a small thing, to break the deal Todd made months ago."

And she is worried, but more at the suddenness of it all. Why should Neil so abruptly decide to break the deal that allowed him to share Todd's life, to have the experience of being alive again for half the time again? And after the sacrifice Todd had made, giving up his voice for a whole month--no, she doesn't believe it's a small thing at all, because undoing that deal after everything they went through for it is hardly a small thing at all. It must be something else, and she knows it.

She also knows, however, that Neil is clearly trying to protect her feelings; she's had enough to be upset over already this week, and of course there is great potential that news like this would only add to that bad mood. So she does understand that much, and she is grateful for his tact in the matter.

Still, she can't help but inquire further as her curiosity gets the better of her. "Todd's deal of sharing his life with you? Why...but why would you undo something like that? Is Todd all right? Did...something happen?"

"Todd's all right! He's fine. We're both fine," he hurries to reassure her, glancing wide-eyed in her direction. It's complicated but the deal seemed the best place to start, the story easier to unfold in reverse order.

"I broke the deal because someone offered me my life. All the time, without any cost, without Todd or anyone else having to suffer for it. And so..." He shrugs lightly, a small, warm smile working its way back onto his face.

"Todd's...you're..." she whispers, hardly even realizing she's come to a stop, letting her arm fall from Neil's as she stares at him with wide eyes.

All the time--no cost--Neil, alive again, Neil and Todd, both alive at once, and it's nothing short of a miracle--

And before she quite realizes it, she's leaping at him, her drink long forgotten as she moves to throw her arms around his neck and hug him as tightly as she can.

Neil laughs, a welcome echo of the masterless joy he felt when Yvaine handed him his life, reeling a bit, tea splashing as the cup tilts and he throws his free arm around her shoulders. Life is good. Pun at least halfway intended.

"I told you, it was a small price to pay!"

"I should say so!" Rosella exclaims, though it is slightly muffled due to the fact that her face is currently situated against her arm and his shoulder. Her shoulders are shaking with laughter, and suddenly the warmth she'd noted earlier takes on a whole new meaning, a new level of notice. Neil is warm because Neil is alive, and Todd is, too, and they're both--they're both fine. They're really both fine.

And if she ends up crying against his shoulder a little, too, as her shoulders continue to shake...well, that might be as much due to overwhelming happiness as anything else.

Grinning like a fool, he doesn't mind holding onto her as long as she needs to lean on him. It's nice to be the bearer of good news, for once.

"It's... honestly, a little unbelievable, even to me. In a good way. The best way."

♕ |[40]|

i'm a slooow tagger myself so nooo worries <3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)