Neil Perry
[VOICE]

Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.


The first thing I ever said on the Network, three years ago, was a line from Tennyson's Ulysses; that's the end of the poem. It's still one of my favorites, even now. It reminds me of home, but of the City too; even if we have nowhere, here, to travel, some work of noble note remains. There are always new things to be seen.

Sometimes it seems like I've lived here much longer than I have; we've seen and done and known so much, I can't imagine how it's all happened in only a few years. Other times it feels like no time has passed at all. Three years; a handful of plays; hundreds of books, I'm sure; and dozens of people I never could have met, anywhere else.

I'm glad to be here. I always will be, no matter what.

[Community Post]
 
 
Neil Perry
The first time the City turned me into someone I wasn't-- still me, but a me who isn't and never could be real-- was a few months, I guess, after I first came here. I hadn't realized before then what that could be like. Believing a whole other lifetime. I remember I acted like an ass afterward. I was embarrassed about being cursed, I guess, or about being cursed and thinking I wasn't cursed. And though I didn't like to say it-- I still don't, to tell you the truth-- I was kind of jealous of my other self. The curse itself was almost nice; it was the aftermath that stung.

I've been thinking about it a lot since it happened again this month-- once to me, and to other people as well, though not necessarily the same way. I've been in the City for two years now-- it was two years in April-- and this time, it didn't bother me nearly as much. Maybe that's because I didn't feel the loss as keenly; or maybe I'm just getting used to the City, to waking up and not knowing who I am. In any case curses don't last forever. No troubles do; if I'd understood that, I guess I wouldn't be here now.

I don't mean to say we should or could just brush things aside like they don't matter... I just hope no one's been hurt too badly, with everything that's happened. Those last few, especially.

The weather's been beautiful, and I think the City's as normal as it ever is. That won't last, either, of course, which is a shame; but maybe it's better not to think about it. I think I'll walk in the park today.
 
 
Neil Perry
APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.


Ever since I read that I can't help thinking of it in April. I don't think I agree. Maybe April's cruel here-- any month can be, in the City-- but I don't think it's because the world's waking up. I like that about spring; it feels like everything's been bare and cold forever, I like when that comes to an end. It's not that winter isn't beautiful... It can be. The snow and ice, keeping everything covered and pristine... It's sort of sad, though. Maybe just for me. For us.

The poem's much longer, that's just the first little part of it. It's nice... It's strange, and sad I think, but I like it.

Maybe April will take a turn for the better.
 
 
Neil Perry
[VIDEO;]

[The picture shakes and blurs a little as the camera is set on a windowsill, pointing out at... well, nothing in particular. Just the falling snow. And once it settles into place, he starts to speak.]



Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,
Arrives the snow, and, driving o’er the fields,
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air
Hides hills and woods, the river, and the heaven,
And veils the farm-house at the garden’s end.
The sled and traveller stopped, the courier’s feet
Delayed, all friends shut out, the housemates sit
Around the radiant fireplace, enclosed
In a tumultuous privacy of storm.

Come see the north wind’s masonry.
Out of an unseen quarry evermore
Furnished with tile, the fierce artificer
Curves his white bastions with projected roof
Round every windward stake, or tree, or door.
Speeding, the myriad-handed, his wild work
So fanciful, so savage, naught cares he
For number or proportion. Mockingly,
On coop or kennel he hangs Parian wreaths;
A swan-like form invests the hidden thorn;
Fills up the farmer’s lane from wall to wall,
Maugre the farmer’s sighs; and at the gate
A tapering turret overtops the work.
And when his hours are numbered, and the world
Is all his own, retiring, as he were not,
Leaves, when the sun appears, astonished Art
To mimic in slow structures, stone by stone,
Built in an age, the mad wind’s night-work,
The frolic architecture of the snow.


[ooc; tags will be delayed after ~3 pm ;_; but i backtag foreverr!]
 
 
Neil Perry
Private / not actually written / etc )

New Year's is a funny holiday to celebrate, here, since I think really the only reason there's a year or a month even is through consensus. Because everyone says there's no one in the City except people who were brought here, and without people there wouldn't be any time. Or at least, no measuring time. But time does pass, the seasons change, so I guess the year does too.

I suppose I should be thinking about what plays we should do next. I don't really want to make resolutions, I don't think I've changed my philosophy any so I'd resolve to do the same thing I always mean to do.

I hope the New Year has more good days than bad ones, I think that's all I can really say.
 
 
Neil Perry
Curses like the long one last month are always interesting-- like playing a role written just for me, being someone I'm not but who I might have been. I didn't really mind this one-- I know sometimes those get bad, for some people, but well, school is just school, how bad can it be?

It was strange, though; imagining things were so different than they are. What life would be like if I'd had a twin brother, if I'd been at a different school, if... well. Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about is what I did, because everyone knows what happens during curses isn't always real, this is important to me and I think I'd rather give up the secret than have people think it didn't mean anything. Sometimes secrets are meant to be shared.

There is a Dead Poets Society.

I almost wrote there was, but really I think because of the nature of the Society, it can't really cease to exist. Not all the Dead Poets are dead, but the poets who are dead are still Dead Poets. Here, especially; I mean, there's no reason to think Henry David Thoreau couldn't walk into the bookstore tomorrow afternoon. So even if there weren't any meetings after... everything happened, at home, there'd still be a Society; and maybe someday someone will share the secret again like Mr. Keating did with us. And even if they don't, even if no one ever talks about it again... it's just a name and a structure to something that's always been there. There will always be Poets, because the human race will always be filled with passion. And so, there will be members, even if they don't know the words for it.

I'm not sure this makes any sense, to anyone who wasn't there. But I wanted to say it.

Some of you are Dead Poets, and some of you don't know that you are. But I hope you're all making the most of it, whoever you might be.

Anyway.

I need one more actor from you, City! Our cast for The Importance of Being Earnest is just one person short of being full-- but right now, we've no one playing Merriman. So, if there's anyone who'd like to try their hand at acting, we'd love to have you. Even if you've never been in a play before! We're happy to have newcomers.

And... Everyone else in the play-- we'll have to start full rehearsals soon, what days work best for you? I do hope you've started working on your lines?

[ooc; play post here! also, as always, please no fourth-walling the Society. XD responses may be late after 5 east-coast time.]
 
 
Neil Perry
[Slipped between the pages of Todd's current poetry notebook]

I almost wonder if it's too soon, after everything last month... if that's even over, I know they never found... well. Maybe we should just be grateful for the time we have, after all, this is what passes for a quiet month so far.

Who knows how long that will last.


With everything that went on last month I'm afraid I've gotten rather behind on trying to recruit for our next play... But I suppose there's no time like the present to pick up where we left off. For anyone who hadn't heard about it, or who wasn't here last time I spoke about it-- We'll be putting on a production of Oscar Wilde's

The Importance of Being Earnest.


Right now, we haven't quite sorted out the roles but we have Rosella, Cain, and myself; and I believe Justin was going to help out as crew. But! As you can see, that means we're still in need of more, both on stage and backstage. Anyone's welcome who'd like to take part-- whether you've ever been in a play or not, we're happy to have you, so just... let me know!



[ooc; may be a bit sporadic tagging but I will do my best <3]
 
 
Neil Perry
On Growth )

Well, I missed the last one, I hope that will do.

Anyway. More importantly! Thanks to Rosella's tireless efforts in coaxing the Library to cooperate, we've got our next play decided upon:

The Importance of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wilde


If anyone's interested in joining the cast-- anyone from before or anyone new, first-time actors are always welcome!-- please let me know, and try to get a hold of a copy of the book. We've got a couple in the shop and there are likely more in the Library. It isn't very long at all and I think you'll enjoy it. Once I've got a better idea of how many people we have to work with we can set a time for auditions and rehearsals and all of that, and figure out when to schedule the performance for-- but it's much smaller than Midsummer so, I can't imagine we'll need more than a month or two. Probably.

And well, that's all I have to write about for now. I hope you'll join us; or at least, that you'll come and see it when we perform!

[ooc; sjfds will make an OOC organization post for the play eventually <3 link is just there for your reference.]
 
 
Neil Perry
14 June 2010 @ 07:18 pm
On Pain; cut for length )



Reading pirate stories, I always wondered exactly what grog was. I think it's safe to say, it's pretty unpleasant. Um. I'd apologize for whatever I did this weekend but honestly, I don't think we were very effective pirates.

Only a few more days til my deal ends.
 
 
Neil Perry
Floating isn't very much like flying. At least, not flying the way a bird flies, though it's very much the way I fly in my dreams. Like stepping up onto something that isn't there and not stopping. And seeing the room from above, laying on the ceiling, isn't much like looking down from the top of a desk. Even less like looking down by looking up, standing upside down.

I didn't much like that, but I think it's the experience that counts, looking at things from a new perspective. Not whether you prefer that perspective. As long as I was right-side up I enjoyed floating... the same way I enjoyed flying, when I was a bird... but I don't mind keeping my feet on the ground, overall.
 
 
Neil Perry
I think this is a pretty nice curse; I've seen some pictures I recognize, and some with people I recognize, and I guess as long as there's nothing too bad out there you might as well enjoy it. I mean, with how long some people have been here-- and since some people can't leave-- it's nice to have that reminder I think.

I am a little confused by this one, though.

not cut IC )

That's not me-- I mean, I know that sometimes there are a lot of people here who look like me, but that almost seems like it could have been. In a play or something I mean.

Strange.

Anyway I hope everyone is enjoying this as much as they can... I'm trying to keep track of ones with people I know, in case they'd like to keep them. If anyone finds pictures of mine-- if you can tell-- I would like to see them.

[Private to Billy;]

I'm pretty sure this is yours-- I wasn't sure you'd want it anywhere where everyone could see, so. Yeah.


[ooc; here are Neil's pictures if you'd like to find; if there's anything you want him to see feel free to pooke me.

EDIT; must be off, more tomorrow bbz <3]
 
 
Neil Perry
[VIDEO;]
[Blurry hands cover the picture first as Neil positions the camera on some surface, then draws back and sits in front of it. He looks resigned; this isn't a post he wants to make, but since he has no choice he's trying to be dignified about it.

On his shirt, on the left breast just above his heart, a bright, ornate, scarlet S is embroidered. He looks down at it, tugs absently at his loosed collar; if you've got a keen eye, you might see the same mark stained on his skin. It's inescapable.]


I was going to talk about something nice. I wanted to see if anyone wanted to have a big snowball fight later this week, since winter's almost over and it seems a shame not to have one and I did promise someone I would. [Neil smiles, a little weakly. He's killing time, postponing the inevitable, and he knows it.] So who's in? I was thinking Friday maybe, as long as it doesn't get any warmer before then.

[He nods, looking a little better now. Having managed to say his piece in spite of the compulsion to talk about his letter makes him feel a little less powerless, though he isn't eager to discuss the mark.]

So. The curse.

[He hesitates, takes a breath.]

I get this one, I never read the book actually but I know what it means. It isn't a secret, even if I don't like talking about it... I'm not proud. But I won't lie, either.

S, for suicide.

[Relieved, his cursed duty discharged, Neil leans forward and hurriedly turns off the camera.]


[ooc; comments could potentially contain disturbing material, idk.]
 
 
Neil Perry
I wasn't cursed yesterday, to make a list of goals for next year. If I had been, honestly, I'm not sure what I would have set-- I can't think of anything any other than the goals I already had, the things I've been trying to do all along, since I got here. I want to keep acting and holding plays. I want to find ways to be happy even if I don't think I deserve it. I want to keep learning new things and reading new poems and making the most of the time I have here.

Carpe diem.

But that isn't anything new.

This was the best Christmas I've ever had, because of all of you, and I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did.

I know the new year probably won't be much different from this one-- there'll still be bad times and curses and sometimes we'll hate it here. But I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to have a good year.

I've got everything I need to be happy.


[ooc; I wish I were cool enough to have made up lists of what my chars got everyone else, but I am not. All of his friends (meaning.... pretty much everyone he talks to) would have gotten at least a little something <3 Happy New Year everyone. Backtagging might occur due to festivities.]
 
 
Neil Perry
23 October 2009 @ 03:01 pm
[Filtered away from Todd. Which is not difficult]

Okay, so, I'm not sure if he's mentioned it to anyone-- probably not-- but Todd's birthday is coming up really soon, and I'd like to throw a party for him. So, um-- consider this an invitation to all his friends, and all my friends, any even anyone who doesn't know him well but would like to, to join us for that. It'll be held November Sixth, unless there's a curse and we need to reschedule-- I'll let everyone know that morning, I guess.

I think we should be able to hold it in our apartment. probably. And-- I don't know if I should-- it's not like it's the kind of thing you can keep secret... Todd can't talk for the month. So I want this to be really special for him, because he deserves it. And, I guess this is his 18th birthday, too. Sort of, but not really since it hasn't really been a year, but.

I just want him to have a really nice time.

Anyway! If you think you're going to come, just let me know! So I have an idea of how much food to get, stuff like that.

And of course, don't tell him, because then it wouldn't be a surprise.


[ooc; orz i haven't had a chance to deal with the play stuff, fml, but can we handwave it and assume people are.. working on parts and soforth and. gaah /brainesplode. basically if your char wants in, Neil will find a way to involve them, anyway. :3 also MOSTLY A PLACEHOLDER most replies will be later tonight / tomorrow sobbb. we have company but i wanted this out there]
 
 
Neil Perry
14 October 2009 @ 03:50 pm
What a relief that the bear's caught. Still, I can't help but wish... I guess it doesn't make a difference. It would have been such a nice solution, though. Congratulations, to whoever caught it. No more interruptions for anyone. Unless, of course, you're inclined to interrupt people (like, say, your roommate) anyway, just to be annoying.

Not that I am thinking of anyone in particular.

Just an example.

Anyway!

I know it's been a while since I said anything about it, but I think we're finally ready to start with the next play-- it's going to be a much smaller production than last time, but we should be able to make enough room for everyone who wants to be a part of it. I'm thinking early November? I'd hoped for it to be around Halloween, but maybe setting something on a holiday isn't the best move, anyway.

I know Cain, Yuuko, and of course Rosella were interested... And Claire, I think? And Robin, but... And Todd doesn't have a choice.

Who else?


tl;dr about the play! )
 
 
Neil Perry
O wild West Wind, thou breath of Autumn's being,
Thou, from whose unseen presence the leaves dead
Are driven, like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing,

Yellow, and black, and pale, and hectic red,
Pestilence-stricken multitudes: O thou,
Who chariotest to their dark wintry bed

The wingèd seeds, where they lie cold and low,
Each like a corpse within its grave, until
Thine azure sister of the Spring shall blow

Her clarion o'er the dreaming earth, and fill
(Driving sweet buds like flocks to feed in air)
With living hues and odors plain and hill:

Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!


That's Shelley's, not mine. There's more but I didn't want to write all of it. It seemed kind of fitting; I guess because summer's really gone now, and it's nearly October and the way everyone talks about that makes it seem kind of frightening. Ghosts and graves. It makes sense in a way, since Halloween is coming, too. I'm excited about it even if it's dangerous. But maybe we'll be lucky, and it won't be too bad. The poem is hopeful too; if only because winter won't last forever.

I don't really see the point of worrying when we can't know what's coming. I was talking to Claire about optimists and pessimists, and really I think I'd rather be neither-- I'd rather be happy as long as I can and take things as they come.

This all just reminds me that we need to get started on the mystery soon, if we plan to perform it end of next month... I really don't know where the time goes. Maybe it's just that I've been distracted. It's been weeks since I said anything on this, though I guess I've been talking to plenty of people even if I have nothing to say. I'm not a total hermit. I hope.